Billie Eilish is opening up about the struggles that come with gaining fame at such a young age. The 20-year-old was recently honored featured on BBC's 100 Women list, which features 100 inspiring and influential women around the globe, and did an interview in which she discussed struggling with imposter syndrome and why growing up in the public eye was a "bruising experience."
The singer was only 14 years old when she and her brother/collaborator Finneas shared one of their first hits, "Ocean Eyes" online. Since then, Eilish's rise to fame has been meteoric. "When you see yourself and your name everywhere, itâs really hard to know who the hell you are," she revealed to the BBC. "Like 15 [years old] was when people decided that that was who I was, so itâs really hard to change and grow and grow up and mature and like become a human when people decided that you were one thing."
She continued, "It absolutely drives me insane that you could look up âBillie Eilishâ and videos that come up are things that I said when I was 15. Iâm like, almost nothing I said before two months ago I still believe. So itâs like, itâs a trip."
Eilish went on to say, "Growing up in the public eye is a very bruising experience... I just didnât know what I was doing. I mean, I just had such severe impostor syndrome. Iâve had that so many times in my life, and really just, like, some parts of last year and the year before are just like, whew. I was just in that downward spiral of impostor syndrome and just grasping at whatever I could to make me feel like myself again, but I didnât know."